The Executive: “What’s an elearning course? Oh, I don’t do those but make sure we cover the three pillars of cones the company values, and tell them we have an open door policy here. Just for awareness.”
SME: The truth is out there. On slide 634. So, for a basic informational awareness training on the three pillars of cones I would roughly estimate 60 minutes and 5 seconds. That includes the history of Hodor. But excludes the five COL questions. My door is always open if you have any questions. Sometimes I’m even available.”
HR: “I don’t know, but for the annual open door report we must be able to track it. Each pillar of scone, separately. And they should not be able to click next until they hear the prompt: open the door to click next.”
Manager: “Yes!! My team will be able to list all three pillars of scones by the end of this module! If my people suffer, I want to suffer with them. But no longer than 30 minutes.”
Target Audience: “Open door policy. Slide 89… Hold on just two damn pillars more… Hold on just two damn pillars more… Hold just two damn more… Hold two dammore.. Hodo dore… Hodor…”
Random cute kitten: “Research says the brain often compensates with cute kitten-type of imagery when under acute pressure. Please don’t waste your brain.”
It’s not the length of the course that kills brain cells. It’s the perception of no hope.